All the Little Unseen Things

A good friend of mine recently reminded me of an email I'd written to her in 2008.  Her daughter had lost a tooth and was asking The Question about the Tooth Fairy.  She'd emailed several friends asking for advice.  I wrote back to her with my experience.  She saved my response and very kindly sent it back to me, suggesting I add it to my blog.  So, here it is...
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Oh boy.  You touched on a tender spot for me here.  I will never forget being about 10 (!!!!), my dad was tucking me in, and I said, "Wait!  I have to put my tooth under my pillow!"  He chuckled and replied, "Oh right - for the tooth fairy, right?"  Wink, wink.  Well, the kicker was that I actually DID still believe in the tooth fairy - it was my one remaining belief in that sort of thing!  It sounds kind of funny now, but it was a devastating realization at the time.  

The next morning, I discovered a letter under my pillow, and my tooth was gone.  I wish I could find the letter so I could share it with you verbatim.  My dad had typed out the most beautiful note, and signed it from 'All the Little Unseen Things'.  The essence of the letter was that there are all kinds of things in the world that we know are real - love, God, happiness, peace, friendship, (spirits, fairies!) etc - and yet we cannot see, touch, smell, hear or taste them.  What makes them real is our belief in them, and our feeling them.  People believe in all different kinds of things, but what is important is knowing what we feel in our own selves.  The message that I came away with was, there may not be a "real" tooth fairy, but the magical feeling of waking up and finding a coin under my pillow WAS.  Granted, I was much older than [her daughter], but I was able to understand that IF my parents were truly the money-leavers, they did it because they loved me, and took pleasure in my delight.

Now, I cannot tell you if you should lie or tell the truth.  The one thing I can tell you is the obvious - some children still believe, and some don't (like the boy who told Ryan there was no Santa last year). When Ryan asked me, I turned around the question and asked him to tell me what he thought.  He still had faith in a real Santa.  As he wrote his note and left out cookies and carrots for Rudolph (as I was thinking, for perhaps the last year??),  I could see that he was deliberate and thoughtful.  I knew questions were in his head, but he was forging ahead and choosing to believe.  I can only hope when he does stop believing in a physical Santa, that he will be left with the anticipation, wonder and magic of those childhood memories in his heart.  Because, after all, memories are real!

Love,

J
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PS - Just a little update - Ryan still puts out cookies and milk for Ol' Saint Nick, and carrots for the reindeer.  Although he has never verbalized his thoughts to me about a 'real' Santa, he takes great delight in sharing his little brothers' excitement and enchantment on Christmas Eve.  Does he actually still believe?  I don't know.  But, I DO know he fully believes in the spirit of Christmas and celebrating it to the fullest.  And that is magical enough for both of us.